In a moment life takes a turn and we somehow feel lonely, confused, frazzled and simply empty. A chain of events happened in a three week span in my life leaving me vulnerable, angry filled with questions only to have open responses with no definite answers...another year passed in my life where there should be laughter, champagne and a bright eyed girl cheering in celebration blowing out the candles on her cake, instead I felt the complete opposite, I sat in a room still, the silence seemed to be my only friend as I fought hard to keep the tears from drowning me. I felt lost as if my last breath was escaping me, my vision blurred by the waterfalls pooling in my eyes pouring from my soul as this was the day that my dad was buried...a final goodbye I can't say...
We all get up every morning stretching as we yawn wishing for just ten more minutes in bed, slapping the dreading sound of the alarm as it goes off, rubbing our eyes, wobbling down the hall to the bathroom proceeding with our human duties. Some of us brew a pot of coffee and prepare breakfast as others don't seem to learn as they always remain running around crazed in the apartment rushing out the door hoping not to be late, today. We continue on our daily routines glancing at our watches making sure 'all is on time' so we can have everything done on a timely basis, the tricky part is there is never enough time in the day! (how many of us said that?) As the sun sets and bellies are full from the hours spent in the kitchen or the quick pick-up delivery bags we finally snuggle in our beds to only do the same thing tomorrow. But here's the thing; what if we didn't see tomorrow? How would we live our lives today's? Our right now's?
There's this mysterious question to life we all strive in depth for the perfect response, hoping to get 'IT' right missing the point...
In my opinion, what I have learned from this experience is that I don't live enough, I always say I'll do this or that next time, or wait until I have a certain amount of money saved up, I ponder what if I get injured? What if I look silly, what will people possibly think? I take on the stress and headaches for my boss yet don't see compensation in appreciation. I can't jump in the leap of faith in love because I always wonder 'what if' and not having the answer or solution seems to drive me away because as humans in the end it's all the same, fear of opening yourself like a book you can read and the person who turns the pages are in control. Geez a mountain of things I don't do because of fear, and if I'm afraid how can I fully live?
So I'll end it like this; I don't know who it is that reads this or if anyone has or will but I'm genuinely saying this from my heart, be kind to others, spend time with the people who value and appreciate you, treat yourself with so much love, forgive, ask for forgiveness, laugh until your stomach hurts, kiss with passion, love like your hearts never been broken and don't hesitate to pick up the phone even if the only thing that comes to mind is 'hello' action speaks volume and what my dad has taught me is to live it! Don't watch your life pass you, let go of grudges and do what truly makes you happy. We only have one life to live...
