This so called 'dating' why is it so complicated when it can truly be so simple? The chase, the game, feelings, words, the play of it all? Doesn't it come to a certain time when all the bullshit games come to a stop? I mean I do get it, don't be too available, don't show you care so much, let there be some mystery, yadda-yadda...but can someone tell me when does it come to a halt? The one thing we as all humans want, free of cost, something so satisfying we all fight so hard to get yet seem to somehow complicate, the four magic letters formed in some hush-hush reality word; L-O-V-E.
I'm not going to lie and say I've made it all so easy myself, but there's always reasons on why I am the way that I am. It's not like I want to, but I feel I put the wall up because of the actions I see. Words are important but what if the actions don't back them up, then what was said holds no value, right? Just like everyone else in the world I hide behind what I feel so that I don't endure that feeling of being heartbroken, so that I won't be vulnerable to someone who may misuse my emotions to their advantage, sometimes when I'm alone I can't help but daydream of my own fairy tale like the movies! Just like Carrie Bradshaw said "I'm looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love!" It's just that simple, I have high hopes and believe in it, I have to! I see it like this; there were some wise, hopeless romantic directors out there whose produced some love stories that will forever live centuries to come, some will forever be known as ingeniously produced known as the classics, (what girl didn't fall for Audrey Hepburn?) and if there are other individuals out there who magically thought of these wildly insane heartfelt tear-jerking stories then that must mean people like that really do exist, and if there are people who can imagine a life filled with passion then just maybe we all have some hopes we can grasp onto, no?
No life is perfect so before anyone out there thinks I live in lala land let me stop you now. I know there are ups and downs, it's normal, the differences and hardships is what makes a relationship or breaks it and from there you can decide if it's really worth it...BUT I'm talking about that kind of relationship where you are each other's best friend, where love really does conquer all and there's a respect, a devotion, a bond, a solid connection where nothing can break you two apart. When your face is the first thing he wants to see in the morning and the last he wants to kiss goodnight, where he brushes your hair out of your face and stares at you a minute longer and you realize you're the luckiest girl!
I have to believe that it's possible because if I do then in my world it WILL happen...I have to believe in it...if I don't then what's the purpose, right? We all can't go on living by just being obsessed with work and making money, hanging at bars with friends looking for those coping words of 'it's okay, it'll happen,' bumbling through life without a partner who makes us feel completely alive. We can definitely survive without someone by our side or perhaps even just have 'a' someone by our side, but then what's the whole point? In my perfect world of love there's no games, he says what he means and means what he says, he tells me how he truly feels and when I look in his eyes know without a doubt it's true, he makes my heart beat fast and slow all at the same time, he's spontaneous, thoughtful and surprisingly fills my apartment with peonies, calla lilies, roses that are red and white, calls me to tell me he misses me, texts to let me know how much I've been on his mind, he's dependable always, he always comforts me, supports my every desire, holds my hand and kisses them, we travel through the excitement journey of life together and I'm swept off my feet by his grand romantic gestures...sigh...where are you?
I dream of him often, I pray to God on a man I don't know or maybe I do, at this point I don't know where he is or who yet, but I feel he's close. I have faith in that whoever he may be, he's out there waiting to find me and he too is willing to take a chance and run away with me on our fairy tale and I promise from the bottom of my heart I will love you always and forever like no one ever has before.
On that note, it's late and I'm off to bed to dream of you, whoever you may be...
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